Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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