I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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