i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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