Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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