I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
