There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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