Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
