you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
