They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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