We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
don't judge my taste in strippers
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
