I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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