I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize