My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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