Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
sarcasm needs its own font
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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