How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
