; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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