4 words: hood of his car
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
