I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
