Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
