you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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