All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
