so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize