worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
