you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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