Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
