addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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