Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
