Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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