Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
