There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
