headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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