She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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