Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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