When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
