dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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