I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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