The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
