She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
