is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
