Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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