Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
