i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
