hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
