Pants 0. Shit 1.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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