am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
