at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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