i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
