He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
