your thong is hanging out like whoa
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
