I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize