The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
