Your face is a jimmy john
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
