I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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