The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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