I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
