Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
