I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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