all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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