I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
