Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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