What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize