So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
