should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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