Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
