I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Randomize
