I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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