just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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