We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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